Evangelion 2,9: You Will (Not) Survive
by MondasianCyberman
Summary: It has been 14 years since Third Impact, and all that stands in the way of Fourth Impact is the group known as Wille. With barely any production capabilities, a lack of properly trained crew, and daily attacks from Nerv, defeat seems inevitable. But for Asuka, still traumatised from the attack of the 9th Angel, the most difficult battle is not against Nerv, but in her mind.
1. Business As Usual

The hum of the entry plug comforted her. She wasn't sure why, and she didn't wonder why. Comfort was a rare thing in this world. She didn't question it.

"There's another wave inbound from the west, bearing 267 - no, 276, sorry."

Asuka opened her eye and rolled it. _"If we have to use civilians,"_ she thought, _"can we at least train them to be less stupid?"_ She looked out to the west. The radar operator was right. Another wave of dozens of Mk. 04Fs was surging across the ocean, propelling themselves with their mechanical tentacles.

Unit 02 was perched on the rear deck of an _Iowa_ -class battleship, part of the vast fleet that surrounded the Autonomous Assault Ark Wunder. Asuka bought the assault rifle to the Eva's shoulder, and placed one of the Mk. 04Fs in her sights. As she squeezed the trigger, it flew back in the water, bleeding from it's core block as it sank below the waves, soon followed by it's brethren.

 _"These stupid things,"_ she thought, _"never learn."_ She dispatched the final one hundreds of metres away from the battleship. "I'm done here, four eyes, what's your situation?" "Oh?" Asuka rolled her eye again. She could practically hear the mischievous grin on Mari's face. "I finished ages ago, princess, I was just -" Asuka jumped as she heard a loud slurping noise from Mari's comms. "- having a break." Asuka's face fell into her hand as she realised what was happening. "Four eyes... have you got a milkshake in there?" "Princess... you don't?"

Asuka sighed. "Why am I not surp-" was as far as she got before six Mk. 04Fs burst out of the ocean directly in front of her. _"Fuck",_ she thought, _"they_ _ **are**_ _learning!"_ She deployed her progressive knife, and plunged it into the core block of the closest 04F. It let out a high pitched scream as the other five slammed into 02's legs. "Ah, shit!" Asuka yelled as the Eva toppled over into the water. The 04Fs settled on 02's legs, holding on with their powerful tentacles as their beaks drilled into it's legs.

Asuka bared her teeth as she felt the piercing pain in her legs. "You stupid things, I'll - fuck!" She'd lost her progressive knife. She couldn't get the 04Fs off her without it - their grip was too strong, even for an Evangelion. They drilled deeper into the Eva's legs, draining it's blood as they sank together, the Sun fading from view.

Then, she heard a loud slurp.

Unit 08 grabbed on to 02's chest, and began stabbing at the 04Fs with a progressive knife. With their attention focused on 02, all they could do was scream in agony as Mari dismembered them, their blood indistinguishable from the red water.

"What took you so long?" Asuka growled. "Ah," Mari cooed, "so you **do** like when I help you, princess!" Again, Asuka rolled her eye. Before she could retort, Misato came in over the comms. "Asuka, Mari, get back in position. The day's not over yet." "No," Asuka said to herself, "it never is."

She thought back to the time before she'd piloted Unit 03. Back when there had been a sense of peace in her life between the Angel attacks. Things had actually started looking up for her... until... _"Idiot Shinji."_


	2. The Calm Before The Storm

"Look at this shit," Wren Bowen sighed. "How long until those pilots watch where they drop stuff?" Daisy Green, his fellow firefighter, looked at him. "You realise that they're the ones saving us on a daily basis, right?" She moved to join another conversation. "That doesn't mean they can't watch where they drop stuff," Wren grumbled.

Unit 02's prog knife had fallen onto the battleship, and had cut through three decks before the failsafe had kicked in, causing electrical fires, which, combined with flammable materials in the crew's mess, had resulted in an inferno. It had taken the firefighters several hours to quell the blaze.

"Alright people," the chief said, coming up behind them. "All the fires have been dealt with, so get some rest. You'll need it, we have to be ready at a moment's notice." Wren gave a slight nod. "Yes sir."

"Where the hell are those replacements?" Wren asked as he walked along the deck of the _Arleigh Burke_ class destroyer he called home. He looked back at his friends, David Myers and Bob Lee. "It's been six months since we needed them!" "Well," David replied, "after the _Nevada_ , who'd want to join us?" Wren sighed. "Yeah, you have a point," he admitted, as he remembered the day when 20 firefighters went aboard the ballistic missile submarine _Nevada_ to fight a blaze, only to be trapped and dragged screaming into the abyss as she sank.

He turned to enter his cabin. "Alright, see you guys next time we have a fire." Bob grinned. "So in a few minutes?" "Ah, fuck you."

Asuka lay awake in her bed. Every part of her body was desperate for sleep, but she preferred not to. It was easier that way. She didn't have to revisit the past. _"But,"_ she thought in resignation, _"it's not like I'll ever forget it."_ She reached a hand to her face, and felt around the void where her left eye should have been, sighing in resignation.

There was a knock on her door. "Piss off, Mari," she groaned. Crude jokes were the last thing she needed. "In the hall? I'll consider it," came the reply, "but not just now. Misato wants us." Asuka swore. "That's just great." She dragged herself off the bed and grabbed her eyepatch. No need to get dressed. She always wore her plugsuit these days.

"Active sonar started picking them up a few minutes ago." Misato motioned to the screen. In the far right corner was a cluster of green dots. "They've bundled up together. Makes assessing their numbers difficult, but we're guessing a couple of hundred. No idea what type they are yet, but we do know they're headed for us. Contact is expected at 0950 hours." "So, what's the plan?" asked Mari, her face serious for once. "We'll keep tracking them, and, keeping 02 and 08 together, instruct you on what position to move to as needed. If their formation splits, we'll split you. You'll be given assault rifles, so you can even things up before they get close." Asuka nodded as Ritsuko moved forwards. "We've managed to repair 02 and 08 after the previous engagement, but spares are getting dangerously low. Try to conserve the Evas as much as possible... even if it costs the lives of the others."

"Roger that," Asuka and Mari replied, before turning to leave. As she reached the bulkhead, Asuka looked back at the faces on the bridge. Misato's determined anger. Ritsuko's obviously forced calm. The haggard bridge crew. Business as usual.

Wren and the other firefighters had been hurriedly woken up and told to head to the _Oliver Hazard Perry_ class frigate that served as the emergency response HQ. They sat in the crew's mess, waiting for a briefing. Wren had his face on a table, trying to get back to sleep. David was listening to music. Bob kept looking for an opportunity to make a joke.

Everyone looked up as the chief entered the room. "Well everyone, I have some bad news." "Is there any other kind?" Wren whispered. "A large enemy force is going to attack us at 0950 hours. We'll have to be ready to move before then. It's expected that they'll attack from the north-west, so we'll move up there, as close as we can without being in the combat zone, and deal with fires as they come. We're also to aid medical teams in the area if we can. Alright, get ready."

They stood in a changing room, getting ready for the chaos they knew was coming. "I'll tell you what's nice about the lack of replacements," Bob laughed. "We don't have to clean up as much piss and shit afterwards." Wren chuckled. "As I recall, you were crapping yourself for the first few weeks. We could smell you a mile away." "I was faking that," Bob retorted. "I wanted to make the rest of you feel better."

Wren grinned, and looked over at David. He was just blankly staring at a helmet. "Hey, Wren put his hand on David's shoulder. "You alright, mate?" David looked at him. "What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine, just thinking." "Let me guess," Wren smirked, "you're thinking about Daisy again?" "What? No -" "You should ask her out some time, mate, that sort of stuff doesn't just happen by itself." "I know, but..." David looked down at the floor. "I'm just... nervous."

Wren thought about what David had said as he marched off with everyone to their positions. _"Funny how after everything that's happened, it's stuff like that make us nervous,"_ he thought. He looked up to see the Evangelions moving into their positions atop two of the outermost ships. Even he could see that they were patched together. _"Looks like we aren't the only ones missing replacements."_


	3. Fight Like Furies

"Misato, we're in position." "Roger that. Looks like the hostiles are going to come in multiple waves, from two directions. Don't split up too much, though, they're coming straight for you. It looks like you're their main target." "Great, that's just what I needed." Asuka rolled her eye as Mari started singing. "Have I ever told you that your singing is the worst part of this job, four eyes?" Mari grinned. "You tell me quite a bit, actually. Still, you have to admit, it's better than me reminding you of your beloved puppy boy."

Asuka felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach. When she spoke, she struggled to stay calm. "What the hell did you just say, bitch?" There was a moment's silence, then Mari spoke. "Hostiles spotted at 10 and 2 o'clock, I'm moving to engage the group at 2. How about we chat later, princess?" With that, she moved off.

 _"I think that did the trick,"_ she thought, grinning.

Raging, Asuka moved to the group at 10 o'clock. There were dozens of Mk. 04Fs, like before. "You won't get so lucky this time, you bastards!" She lifted the rifle to the Eva's shoulder, and fired in quick succession, sending the monstrosities screaming and bleeding into the depths. She leapt into the water, and spotted more 04Fs approaching underwater. She raised the rifle, and fired. The rounds ripped through the water, ripping their steel bodies to shreds.

"Princess, some 04As have gotten between you and me. If you're not too busy, would you be able to take care of them?" "I'm coming, stop with the fucking jokes already, would you?" Grabbing onto the side of a nearby ship, Asuka hoisted herself up to the surface, just in time to see one of the 04As ram straight into 08's AT field. The flying abomination started tearing away at the field with it's prongs, only to be stabbed straight in the core block by 08's prog knife.

A dozen more came screaming in at Mari, propelling themselves with their own AT fields. Behind them, Asuka took aim and fired. The surprised creatures tried to escape and regroup, but with both Evas now firing at them, there was no escape. The crossfire ripped through them, and most crashed into the ocean - others into the nearby ships.

"Don't worry, you're gonna make it!" Wren yelled at the injured crewman as he and Daisy rushed him down the ship's halls on a fireproof stretcher. One of the 04As had crashed into the aircraft carrier _Illustrious_ , trapping groups of crewmembers behind walls of flame.

The stretcher party finally reached the medical ship alongside Illustrious and bought their charge aboard. The ship reeked of charred flesh and Human waste. "Lieutenant," Daisy yelled out towards a young woman, "we have another one!" "Alright, I'll take him from here," she yelled back, trying to be heard over the screaming. "Before you go, we... we have orders only to... focus on the ones with a higher chance of recovery..." Wren and Daisy stopped for a second. "Alright," Daisy replied, and turned back towards the Illustrious. Wren followed her. "Fuck!"

As they returned aboard the Illustrious, they ran into a group of six firefighters. "You two, with us!" a Deputy Captain shouted at them. "We've got possible survivors trapped in the kitchens, and we need all the help we can get."

After a perilous half hour of navigating the burning ship, the group finally reached the kitchens. Pots and pans lay on the stoves, halfway through cooking a meal. Slabs of burnt flesh that had once been people littered the deck. The group continued on, not distracted by such a familiar sight. "Is anyone there?" the Deputy Captain yelled. A hurried banging from the freezer door came as a response, and the group hurried over, and anxiously tore open the door. A dozen crewmembers had squeezed into the freezer. _"Thank God,"_ Wren thought as a faint smile came to his face. It left almost immediately. _"Now... we have to get them back in one piece."_

The Deputy Captain wasted no time organising things. "Okay, I want you guys to stay in the middle while we get out of here. Don't worry, we'll deal with anything in front or behind, now let's go!" They quickly headed out, the firefighters urging the crew forwards as they stared at the remains of their colleagues. "Don't think about that now, mate, just keep moving," Wren said to a man staring numbly at one of the slabs. "We have to go right now, I know it's hard, but we have to," he urged, desperation taking hold.

A massive shockwave hit the carrier, sending everyone to the deck. Wren fell over on his back, hitting his head on the base of a stove. "God damn it, what fuck was that?!" he yelled. "I don't know, just keep mov-" Daisy looked above Wren's head in horror. Wren followed her gaze, and, terrified, saw a pan full of oil falling towards him. Before he could react, his face was covered in the scalding oil. As the sharp pain seared through his flesh like a million daggers, there was nothing he could do but scream and flail on the deck, his mind reduced to that of an animal.

Through the pain, he was faintly aware of being placed on a stretcher and carried... somewhere, he didn't dare open his eyes. Something stabbed into his arm, and then there was nothing but darkness.

"What the hell was that?!" Asuka yelled as the shockwave hit. "Looks like Nerv's come up with something new," Misato muttered in disgust. Checking her six, Asuka saw the new threat a few hundred metres away. It was a massive steel pillar, 100 metres tall, with a thick armour plate in it's centre. As she watched, two doors opened on it's sides, and two cylinders dropped out. "Four eyes, brace yourself!" she yelled, already knowing that they were explosives. Two massive columns of water shot up as they detonated, violently shaking every ship in the fleet. The Evas were knocked down by the force, slamming into the decks of their ships.

Asuka looked up just in time to see hundreds of tentacles shoot out of the pillar, and before she could react, they'd grabbed her and lifted her over the pillar. Asuka screamed in pain and anger as she felt her body being slowly crushed by the immense force of the creature. The Eva's armour began to buckle. "Four eyes, get off your ass and do something!" she yelled in desperation. "I'm on it, relax."

Mari looked at the pillar, and noticed the armoured centre. "Now," she smirked, "I wonder where that core block could be?" She dropped her rifle and grabbed her prog knife, and leaped towards the pillar, digging the knife into it's side. She quickly turned it off and deployed her second knife, cutting through the armour. She looked up at the suspended Unit 02. "Don't worry, princess, just a bit long- ah, crap! Behind you!"

Asuka looked back to see a set of pincers coming towards her. They ripped through the AT field, grabbed onto the Eva's entry hatch, and tore it off. "Shit," Mari whispered. The prog knife hadn't cut through yet. The pincers grabbed the entry plug and tore it out of the Eva, and Asuka screamed as she was ripped out of synchronisation. The pincers began to bite into the plug - then stopped. Mari's knife was embedded in the pillar's core block.

Asuka looked around the walls of the entry plug, unable to see anything. _"I guess we won, then."_ She thought as her head slumped in exhaustion. Her rest was short lived. She felt her stomach come up to her chest and realised what was happening. "Oh, sh-"

Mari sighed in relief. "Well, so much for Nerv's new toy - fuck!" The creature had gone limp, and dropped the entry plug. As she watched, it slammed into the deck of a nearby ship.

Asuka tried to stand up, but her legs wouldn't obey. "Come on," she whispered to herself. She tried to focus, but everything went blurry as her vision abandoned her as well. She was vaguely aware of someone banging on the outside of the plug. She tried to answer, but the darkness overtook her.


	4. Aftermath

Misato lay on her bed, too exhausted to even lift the sheets. Nerv's attack had finally stopped when the new creature, designated as the Mk. 04G, had been killed, but they'd sustained hundreds of casualties. _"Including Asuka,"_ she thought, closing her eyes. It had been fourteen years since Asuka had become her responsibility, and despite everything, Misato wouldn't let that go.

She gathered what remained of her strength and reached over to a chest of drawers, and pulled out an old photograph. She'd had Hyuga take it after the battle with the 8th Angel. Misato beamed at the camera, her arm around the shoulders of a smiling Shinji as he sat in his hospital bed. On Misato's other side, Asuka glared at the camera, while Rei stood on Shinji's side, glancing at him with a faint smile.

They all seemed alien to Misato now. All of them except for Asuka. _"She'll never get better as long as we live in a world like this,"_ Misato thought.

She looked at Shinji for a few seconds, then dropped the photo, burying her face in her hands.

"What's up, Doc?" Mari grinned as she approached Ritsuko in 02's cage. She looked up from a clipboard at the pilot, her face haggard. "Ah, it's you," she murmured. "So..." Mari leaned over to get a look at the clipboard. "How's everything going?" Ritsuko moved the clipboard away from the pilot. "08 was only minorly damaged, and is still operational. Maya's supervising what few repairs there are right now."

"And?"

"02's going to be out of commission for the next few days at best. We have to repair the entry plug and the entry plug system. When that's done, we'll have to run multiple tests to make sure that it's all working properly, and we need Asuka for those tests. In other words, you'll be on your own for a while."

"And?"

"And if you make another stupid joke about installing an icecream machine in your entry plug, I'll personally head over to Nerv and get an Ayanami to replace you." Mari grinned. "Oh, that wasn't a joke, Doc. Be seeing you."

Mari returned to her room and closed the door. The smile fell off her face. "Shit."


	5. Scars

_"Whoever designed this plug suit must be a pervert,"_ Asuka thought as she settled at the controls of Unit 03. _"I'd better get the old one back when these tests are done."_ She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. _"Focus, Asuka, remember why you're here."_

An image of Shinji enjoying a meal with his father flashed in her mind, and she smiled.

"I see... I can actually smile..." she whispered to herself.

She looked up in surprise as a crack rang through the entry plug. A red, empty void had opened up in front of her, and it advanced on her, each step accompanied by another crack, and within seconds there was nothing around her but the red void.

She looked around herself, unable to comprehend what was happening, as pink crosses flew towards her. Suddenly, she felt a force pushing her down, and the same force was giggling like a little girl - no, it **was** a little girl. Asuka was shoved into a blue portal, and then she was surrounded by darkness.

"What are you?" the little girl asked, and Asuka woke up screaming.

She gulped down some breaths and tried to take in her surroundings. She was on one of the hospital ships, in one of the recovery cabins. No lights were on, and sky was pitch black outside. Electrodes covered her chest, arms, and head. Then she noticed the figure watching her from the opposite bed, it's head wrapped in bandages.

Wren stared at the girl opposite him who'd woken him up with her screams. There was nothing but pink flesh where her left eye should have been. Her face glistened with sweat, and her eyes darted around like those of a cornered animal. She couldn't have been older than 16 at best.

"What, haven't you ever seen someone having a nightmare? You must be new here if you haven't," Asuka sneered at the figure. "Sorry," it replied sheepishly, "you woke me up, and... well, I got a bit of a shock." Asuka dropped the contempt from her face. "Forget it," she told herself. "Being an entitled brat didn't get you anywhere fourteen years ago."

The girl looked up at Wren, her face now more miserable than angry. "Fine," she mumbled. "So, what happened to you?" He stared at the girl for a few seconds, then remembered what had happened. He reached up to his face, and felt bandages covering it. "Oh, fuck me..." he whispered. He looked up at the girl, trying to stay calm. "I... uh, got hot oil over my face during the attack... however long ago that was. What... what about you?"

Asuka closed her eyes as she remembered what had happened. "My eye is a long and complicated story involving an... an idiot, a creep, and a spear. As for why I'm here now... well, just look at EVA-02." The figure shrugged. "I've been out sin- wait... you're EVA-02's pilot?!" Asuka sighed. "Asuka Shikinami Langley, yes," she mumbled.

Wren stared at the girl. "How... how can you be so young? I was watching leaked footage of the Evas when I was in highschool." It then struck him who he was talking to. _"For all the trouble she's caused dropping stuff,"_ he thought, _"we wouldn't be here without her."_ "If you don't mind me asking, ma'am."

 _"Ma'am?"_ Asuka thought. She looked at him. "I'm not young. My body's just preserved like a dead rat in formaldehyde thanks to the curse of Eva." "The curse of -" "Forget about it," Asuka ordered. She dropped her forehead to her palm. "Anyway, what's your name?" "Wren Bowen." She raised an eyebrow. "Wren Bowen? What kind of a name is that?" "A Welsh one," he replied, annoyed.

Asuka lay back in her bed. "Alright, Wren. I'm going back to sleep. Don't talk anymore." Wren opened his mouth to say yes, then shut it and put his head on his pillow.

 _"Ma'am..."_ Asuka thought about what Wren had said. _"He... respects me. Have I been... helping people?"_ Piloting the Eva had only been about pride in the beginning, and survival after Third Impact. Helping people had never come into it. Except for one horrific time. She stayed up for a while, thinking. Then she was sobbing, holding Shinji in her arms. "You idiot," she said, her voice cracking. "It took you ten years to get your dumb ass out of there?!"

Through her tears, she saw Misato walking towards them. She said something to Asuka, pulled Shinji away from her, and placed a pistol to the base of his skull. Asuka shot up in her bed, gasping for air, the gunshot still ringing in her ears.

"BM-01 again, huh?" said a voice from above. Asuka looked up at Mari. "What do you want?" Mari smiled. "Ritsuko sent me to pick you up now that the doctors cleared you. You were in here for three days. Well, four now." Asuka shook her head, trying to clear her head. "What do you mean?" "You were officially released this morning, but I decided to let you sleep a bit more.

Asuka looked around. It was evening. "Huh... thanks. Where's..." "Your roomie? He left this morning. What did you two get up to, hmm?" Asuka glared at Mari, and remembered what she'd said before the battle. Her fist slammed into Mari's jaw, knocking her back. "Don't mention the idiot to me again," she spat, and left the room.

Mari chuckled. "Well, that definitely did the trick!"


	6. Looking For Hope

"Alright Asuka, that's enough for today." Asuka looked up to look at the visual comms screen in the entry plug. "Everything working now?" she asked. Ritsuko shook her head. "No, there are still a few problems. We'll work on finding them. I'll need you here again in a few hours, minimum. "Alright then," Asuka sighed. _"A few more hours of being helpless,"_ she thought. "Another thing, Asuka. The Captain wants to see you. She's in her quarters."

Asuka made her way through the Wunder's cramped corridors to Misato's cabin. "Alright Yaguchi, keep your team working on them. We might need them one day," came Misato's exhausted voice from around the corner. "Yes, Captain," came an equally exhausted reply. As Asuka rounded the corner, she passed Yaguchi as he moved on. Neither of them took much notice of each other. They were too busy trying to keep their feet moving.

"You wanted to see me?" Misato looked up, her face softening a little, but not enough to smile. "Asuka. How are you feeling?" Asuka shrugged. "I'm alive." Misato looked down. "I see." There was an uncomfortable silence for a few moments. Neither of them knew what to say to each other. Asuka glanced around, and spotted something on Misato's beside table. She leaned over and picked it up. "Asuka, don't -"

Asuka stared at the photo. "I remember that day," she whispered.

She glared at Hyuga as he took the photo. _"I'm the best pilot, with the best EVA,"_ she thought bitterly. _"I shouldn't need anyone's help, least of all from daddy's boy and the commander's pet!"_ She turned to leave the room. "Shikinami..." She turned around. _"What is it, daddy's boy?"_ "Of course he wants to rub my nose in it." Shinji smiled. "It's just... thank you for the help today." Asuka stared at him. "Oh... okay." He turned to Rei. Asuka kept staring at him.

She put the photo back on the table. "Still hanging onto the past, are you?" Misato was silent. Asuka sighed. "Misato, he's never coming back." Her voice grew harsher. "You saw what Lilith did to EVA-01, when she created those... things! He's not coming back, and we're better off for it!" "I know, Asuka!" Misato snapped. "I know! I just want... I need to remember the good days, because they're what I'm fighting for! I... I just want life to be worth living again."

Asuka was unmoved. "The more you focus on the past, the harder it'll be to deal with BM-03 when it arrives. We won't survive if you grow soft." She scowled at Misato for a few seconds, then turned and left.

Misato sighed, put her cap back on, and left for the bridge. _"I hate it when she's right."_

Wren stared at the ceiling as he lay on his bed, thinking back to the previous night. _"So, that was the pilot of EVA-02... funny how a person who defends me can be such a bitch..."_ He looked up as there was a knock on the door _"Who the hell is that?"_ he thought, annoyed. Everyone else had been doing training since morning, and probably hadn't heard that he'd been released.

He opened the door, and Asuka pushed past him. "Ma'am, what-" "Shut up." She scowled at him. "I just need to have a conversation with someone who won't go on about that idiot, or else I'll go insane." "That idio-" She shut him up with a glare. "Alright, sorry ma'am." Asuka sighed. "Why do you call me that? What have I done for you?"

Wren looked up, surprised. "Well, ma'am, you've saved us... all of us... countless times. And, I guess you outrank me." "It feels wrong. Stop it," Asuka snapped. Wren sighed. "You said you wanted to have a conversation? Or do you just want to yell at me all day?"

Asuka was silent. _"I'm going back to where I was fourteen years ago,"_ she realised. _"A brat who pushes everyone away..."_ "How's your face going?" she mumbled. "The doctors told me to keep the bandages on for another day," he grimaced, "but after that... well, skin grafts aren't exactly a thing anymore." Asuka looked down at the deck. "I see." "Well, at least I should still be able to be a firefighter," he smiled. "It's not like I lost anything important. Anyway, how are things going with the Evas?"

"The usual stuff. 02's still fucked, with any luck it'll be operational again soon. 08's just fine, though." Asuka frowned. "It's strange. Nerv hasn't launched any attacks since we got fucked up. They're probably getting ready for a massive attack to wipe us out. Well, at least we won't have to live through Fourth Impact." Wren smiled. "Huh, that's the spirit. Always look on the bright side of things." "I take what I can get."

"Look, I don't know much about you," Wren said, looking her in the eye. "But I do know that you're great at piloting the Eva. Have faith in yourself." "What good would that do?" Asuka spat. "We're all screwed." "So were the Greeks when the Persians invaded. So were the British when France fell. But they kept fighting, and they won. You'll do the same."

"Speaking of screwing, when are you two going to start? I'm getting bored here," came a voice from outside. "Fuck off, four eyes," Asuka groaned. "Bowen, this is Mari. She's the most annoying person you'll ever meet." Wren nodded. "Yeah, I met her on the hospital ship." Mari grinned. "Anyway, the doc wants you back, things should be working better now. I'll give you a moment to say your goodbyes." She wriggled her eyebrows and left.

Asuka turned to Wren. "Well, it was... good talking with you," she mumbled, and followed Mari. Wren sighed. _"I must be a better liar than I thought."_ He stared at the deck. "Shit."


	7. Desperation Takes Over

"Asuka, 06 just broke through the last defensive line, it has a clear shot at Lilith!" Asuka swore. "Alright, I'm moving, just leave it to me!" The Mark.06 was visible in the distance, walking over the ruins of a tank company, the Spear of Cassius in it's hand. "Shit, you have to stop it now, Asuka! Mark.07's been sighted, it's on it's way here!" "I know, Misato! Let me handle it!"

"Alright, you creep, time to die already." EVA-02 leapt at 06, tackling it to the ground. Asuka yelled in fury as she plunged her progressive knife towards it's face. Before she could strike, she was lifted into the air by a kick from 07. "You stupid bitch, I'll kill you!" She shoved her shoulder into 07's chest, knocking it to the ground, and this time the prog knife struck home, slicing through 07's head. She turned the Eva over and tore out the entry plug, crushing it in her hands. What remained of the Ayanami inside spilled out onto the ground. "Asuka, 09's been sighted heading towards Lilith with 01, you have to finish this now!"

Asuka quickly spun around to face 06 again. She froze as she saw it raising the Spear of Cassius. In a split second, the spear flew through the air into 02's face, and Asuka screamed as she felt the spear pierce her eye, crack bone, and tear through flesh, her hand shooting up in a vain effort to protect her left eye.

02 collapsed, and Asuka continued screaming as she felt the spear being pulled out. She continued screaming for what seemed like an eternity, until she slowly recovered enough to think. "Pull... yourself... together... Asuka... it's the Eva... that's hurt... not... not you..." She pulled her hand away from her face. It was covered in blood. Breathing rapidly, she closed her right eye, and everything went dark. She screamed and shot up in her bed, gulping down breaths, her skin slick with sweat.

"Oh god... I..." the image of the young girl's remains hitting the ground with a wet slap flashed in her mind, and she threw up.

"Thank you," said the quiet voice on the phone.

"You didn't give me any choice, you bitch!" Asuka yelled, her voice filling the small cabin. "Why didn't any of you just stop?!" She reached for her eyepatch, and noticed that her hand had been covering her empty eye socket the entire time. She got up and opened the door to see Mari on the other side. "Asuka, are-" Mari staggered back as Asuka smashed her fist into her stomach. "I'm not in the fucking mood! You and Misato and all the rest can just fuck off!"

Mari watched as Asuka stormed down the deck. "Don't worry, Asuka," she whispered. "You aren't the only one with guilt." She stepped into Asuka's room, noting the lack of any non-essentials. _"That girl needs help,"_ she thought. _"I hope my plan worked."_

She looked up as Misato entered the room, her face wracked with worry. "What happened?! Where's Asuka?!" "Nightmare. She's fine, she just went to get some fresh air or something." Misato sighed. "You're wrong. She isn't fine. What was the nightmare about?" Mari looked at the deck. "The Ayanami series." Misato was silent for a moment. "It never got any easier killing them," she mumbled. "Rei... the one I commanded against the Angels... she was strange, but she was still Human... with people she loved. The ones we killed must have been the same." Mari sighed. "Well, this is war."

Asuka found Wren outside his cabin, staring into the night sky. "You couldn't sleep either, huh?" He looked up, surprised to see her. "No, no I couldn't." She stood next to him, leaning on the railing. "What was it for you?" He silently stared out over the blood red sea for a moment, then sighed and looked down. "A few months ago, twenty firefighters went down with a submarine. One of them was... well, he was a real asshole. He always ran his mouth, and I think he especially hated me. I never found out why he was like that. Maybe we just misunderstood each other. Maybe we could have even been friends. But now, I'll never know. I can only think, maybe..."

He turned to Asuka. "What about you?" Asuka sighed. "There was a girl I knew before Third Impact. She was the first Eva pilot. I always thought she just acted superior to everyone. I really hated her guts. Then, she... she was gone after Third Impact. Then, I found out she was one of a series of clones that Nerv produced to pilot Evas. I guess she hadn't been a bitch... she just had no idea how to interact with people." She looked down. "I guess the other clones were the same as her. And I... I killed them. I just... oh god, I **killed** them..."

Wren looked at her horrified face with pity. "Look... I don't know much about Nerv or these clones, but it seems to me that Nerv are the ones to blame for their deaths. They sent them out there to fight and die. They didn't give you any choice." Asuka turned away from him. "Yeah, I guess you're right... but it doesn't... I just can't..."

"It's just... thank you for the help today," Shinji said as he looked up at Asuka.

 _"Does daddy's boy actually... care about me?"_ Asuka thought as she stared out at the night sky, illuminated by the blue glow of Tokyo-3. "Though it's always been normal for me to be alone..." she whispered, "though being alone shouldn't bother me... I want someone to... care about me." She sighed, left her bed and headed for Shinji's room.

She looked up at Wren. "Can I sleep with you tonight? Not like **that** , I just... I just don't want to be alone anymore... please." Wren was taken aback, then nodded. "Sure, alright. But... why me?" Asuka was silent for a moment. "Because... I feel like everyone else hates me."

Mari watched them go inside. _"Looks like it's working. She's finally getting help."_ She smiled, and headed back to her cabin.

They lay in the bed together, Wren trying to give Asuka as much space as possible. "So," he whispered, "you don't want me to call you ma'am, so what can I call you?" Asuka was silent for a few moments. "Asuka. You can call me Asuka." "Alright, Asuka. You can call me Wren."

Asuka thought for a few minutes, embarrassed. "Wren... hold me. Please." "O-okay..." he moved forwards, placing his arms around her waist. She moved back, her spine against his chest. "I just want to know that I'm not alone," she whispered. "You aren't. You need anything, I'm here, Asuka." "Wren... I... thank you."

"If I have a nightmare, promise me you'll wake me up." Wren frowned. "I heard that it's better to let them play out." "I don't care. Promise me. Please." "I promise."


	8. The Constant Nightmare

"Asuka, Mari, move, now! We've detected the 12th Angel at terminal dogma! That must be why they've taken so long!" Misato yelled into her mic. "Shit, shit!" Asuka whispered as she ran towards the shaft. "Are you up to this, four eyes?" "Oh, I've been looking forwards to a date with Lilith for a long time, princess," Mari replied in her usual relaxed tone. _"Princess?! What the hell's that supposed to - forget it, Asuka, focus!"_

The two Evas reached the shaft and leapt down it. As the ground grew closer, they activated their U-type equipment, and the reverse thrusters bought them to an abrupt halt. Asuka looked ahead, to see -

"Oh, shit."

A white giant stood, impaled by a Spear of Longinus, on a massive crucifix, watching as 06 and 09 struggled with a mass of shining, shifting metal. EVA-01 lay motionless in front of Lilith, held in midair by the Spears of Cassius and Longinus.

In desperation, 06 pulled the Spear of Cassius out of 01, and threw it towards the 12th Angel, which shot back into the shadows with a scream of pure agony. 06 turned back to quickly place the Spear back in 01's stomach, only to be smashed to the ground as 01 awoke and went beserk. With a bone-chilling roar, it pulled out 06's entry plug and began to crush it, only to be stopped in it's tracks by the Spear of Cassius piercing it's chest.

Having subdued 01, 09 turned to Lilith. It tore out the Spear of Longinus, and in an instant, Lilith had healed her legs. The Eva's back opened up, and the entry plug opened. Asuka watched in shock as the Ayanami inside levitated out and faced Lilith. The giant's chest suddenly shot out and consumed the girl.

Lilith slowly pulled her hands through the nails that held her captive, and dropped onto the sea of LCL beneath her. Her body began to contort and shift, until, finally, a giant, pure white Ayanami stood in front of 01.

"Oh my god," Asuka whispered.

Lilith reached out, as if to hold 01, and the Spear of Longinus impaled in the Eva's stomach rapidly began to change shape, spreading into 01's body, and within seconds, the Eva had been morphed into a giant cross, branches spreading from top to bottom.

"Shinji?!" Asuka screamed, only to be interrupted by Misato. "Asuka, Mari, we don't have much time left, you have to retrieve 06 and the Spears, Ritsuko has a plan! Now, do it!"

The cross opened up in the middle, and as Asuka watched, 01 came out, covered in blood. She froze. "Shinji, are you-" another 01 came out. And another. Hundreds poured out, and Asuka realised that it wasn't blood - the copies were composed of solid core matter. Asuka's eyes snapped open, and she looked up at the ceiling. "Asuka?! Are you okay?" She turned her head and saw Wren looking down on her. "Thanks," she said numbly.

She looked around the cabin, and saw the sun's rays entering through the portholes. "Wren," she started, looking him in the eye. "Is it just me, or have we just been surviving for the last fourteen years?" He looked away from her. "Instead of living, huh?" "Yeah." He looked back at her. "Yeah. But we've been surviving so that we can start living again, some day." "Can we? After all this? After all we've seen and done?" "I... I don't know."

He sat up. "Well, it's been a day. Moment of truth." He reached around to the back of his head and began to unwrap the bandages. As Asuka watched, they fell away, revealing a mass of pink, glistening, raw skin. She quickly looked away. "That bad, huh?" "I've seen worse," she mumbled.

There was a knock on the door, and Asuka hurriedly went to open it. Mari was on the other side. She was smiling as usual, but only faintly. "Princess, the Captain wants us for a briefing. She turned and walked off. Asuka glanced back at Wren. "I have to go."

She barged down the deck, pushing past some men headed the other way. Even in her plugsuit, she could feel the chill of the polar winds.She suddenly stopped, and looked back to Wren's cabin. "What the hell are you doing, Asuka?" she whispered. "When did you become so desperate? You don't even know him properly. Why are you acting like this?"

She lay on Shinji's bed. "Don't turn around," she snapped. Despite herself, the warmth of his body was comforting.

"Thank you for the help today."

"Ma'am."

"He reminds me of Shinji? Is that it?" Tears began to form in her eyes. "Damn it, Shinji, you idiot, why can't you just stay dead?!"

Wren opened his cabin door to see David and Bob waiting for him. They were silent as they saw his face. "That bad?" "Uh... y-yeah," David stuttered. Wren sighed. "Anyway, what did I miss?" Bob found his voice. "Not much. Nothing really. No attacks since... well... yeah. Things have been quiet since then." Wren grunted. "Yeah, I heard. Apparently Nerv's building up for something." "That would explain why we were just called to a briefing, then," David sighed. Wren's eyes widened, and his stomach sank. "So, they're already on their way, then." Bob shrugged. "You never know, it could just be something else. Maybe someone clogged the toilet." "We should probably go and find out, then." David headed towards their HQ.

Bob looked up at Wren. "So... the fuck was EVA-02's pilot doing in your cabin?" Wren shifted, uncomfortable. "I can't tell you, it's private." He remembered the way Asuka has seized the opportunity to leave after he'd removed his bandages. _"Besides, she probably won't be coming back."_


	9. Scraping Away At The Darkness

Asuka quickly ducked into her cabin to get her jacket and cap, pausing to look at a dent in the wall. Her insides crawled as she remembered how it got there.

"Feeling better?" Mari stood in the doorway, regarding Asuka with sympathy. "As if you care, four eyes," Asuka muttered. "Everything's fine for you as long as you get to make stupid jokes." Mari sighed. "Asuka, I know we don't really get along that much, but at the end of the day, we're a team, and we should look out for each other." Asuka was silent for a moment. "Thanks," she mumbled, pushing past Mari.

Misato looked up as Asuka barged into the briefing room. The girl's eye seemed... hollow. As if all the life had been drained out of it. _"I wonder if that's how I look?"_ Misato wondered.

Asuka looked around at the faces in the briefing room. All the combat vessel commanders were there. "So, what the hell's going on?" she sneered. "Nothing good, I take it?" She was met with dozens of glares. _"Don't act as if you aren't as scared as the rest of us, assholes,"_ she thought bitterly. Misato sighed. "Pretty much. Hyuga?" Hyuga stepped forwards reluctantly, as if announcing the facts would make them a reality.

"Last night, we detected a large Nerv force approaching the fleet. It's the largest we've ever seen. Numbers are unclear, but they seem to be in the high hundreds, possibly in the thousands. We expect they'll attack tomorrow." Asuka swore. The captain of the _Missouri_ raised his hand. "Any idea of their composition? Is the Nemesis Series involved?" "All we have so far are rough numbers. They're in a very tight formation, so active sonar can't make them out well enough."

"And the Evangelions?" the captain of the _Adelaide_ looked to Ritsuko. "Are they ready?" Ritsuko nodded. "02 and 08 are combat capable. However, we can't restore them to 100% operational capacity until the new parts and plugsuits are completed, which they won't be for another few weeks." "And we only had to wait five years," Asuka whispered to Mari, eliciting a grin.

"And I take it that we're no closer to getting the _Wunder_ airborne?" Misato shook her head. "No, we need an Evangelion to power it, and two to defend the fleet. We need to capture one of Nerv's Evas." The room was silent. "Alright, you know what to do, get ready," Misato said, and left. Asuka followed her, pushing past the somber faces of the captains.

She found Misato's cabin door closed, and simply burst in. Misato was lying on her bed, looking up at the ceiling. Her jacket and cap were dumped on the floor. She was silent. "So, do we have a chance?" Asuka muttered. "You know as well as I do that we don't," Misato whispered. "If we had a chance of winning this, it died a long time ago." "So why do we even bother, then?" Misato was again silent for a moment. "Because part of me still has hope, I guess."

Asuka stared down at her, holding back tears. "So this is where it ends, is it? We all just die, with no-one to remember us?" Misato turned her head and opened her mouth, but no words came out. Asuka turned and stormed out, making sure to slam the door.

Misato opened her bedside drawers, and took out a faded photograph of herself in her college years, in the arms of a smiling man with unkempt hair. She stared at it for a few moments, then dropped it as she began to sob.

Mari found Asuka sitting on the deck a short distance from Misato's cabin, hunched over, her face gaunt. She sat down next to her, sighing. "We're all going to die tomorrow," Asuka mumbled. Mari shook her head. "No, I'm sure we'll pull something out of our ass. We always do." "Not this time." Asuka stared at the floor. "There are thousands of them. We're screwed." She wiped her eye, determined not to cry. "I don't want to die. I'm not ready yet. I haven't even had the chance to live properly for the last fourteen years. It's not fucking fair!" Her breathing became fast and shallow. "I just want to live!" Mari looked at her panic-ridden face. "So do I," she whispered, placing her hand on Asuka's.

But Asuka had already gotten up, and was walking down the corridor. "Ah," Mari grimaced. "Of course not."

Wren let out a large sigh as he heard the news. _"Thousands?! How the hell are we going to get through this?"_ He looked back up at the chief, who continued the briefing, his voice deflated. "As usual, we'll... we'll be on standby behind the outer circle of ships, and respond to... situations as they come up. And we'll be co-operating with the medical teams, as usual, obviously. Any... are there any questions?"

The room was silent. No-one wanted to know any more details.

Wren, Bob, and David walked back to their cabins, silent. "Nice place for it, I guess," Bob said, his voice somewhat strangled. "The icebergs look pretty good." Wren grunted an affirmative. They reached his cabin. "Well, see you guys tomorrow, then," he mumbled. "Yeah, see you," Bob mumbled back. Wren looked at David. "David, you... uh, you should.. talk to Daisy." David looked up. "Hmm? Oh... yeah... I guess... I'll think about it..."

There was an awakward silence. "Well, take care of yourselves, guys," Wren said, and entered his cabin.

"I've been waiting for you," Asuka said as she sat on his bed. "You heard too, huh?" Wren looked down at the deck. "Yeah, I heard. Thousands... I just... fuck." He looked up at her. "What are our chances?" "None. We're all going to die tomorrow." Wren felt like his stomach was trying to crawl up his throat as her words struck home. "Oh god..." Asuka looked away from him. "It's the hope that's the worst part, isn't it? That one, tiny, stupid part of you that won't let you accept your fate, and tortures you with the possibility of a future." She sneered. "What a fucking joke." After a few moments, Wren nodded. "Should've stayed in the fucking box, he mumbled.

There was a long silence, then Asuka took off her hat and jacket. "Wren, remember what we were talking about this morning? About surviving and living?" "Yeah, I remember." She stood up and walked towards him, and looked at his face for a few moments.

Then she wrapped her arms around him, and started kissing him.

Wren froze in surprise, then started kissing back, gripping her tightly. After a few moments, she broke away. "I want to live one more time," she whispered, and pressed a button on her wrist. Her plugsuit fell to the ground.

 _"What the hell am I doing?"_


	10. The Endless Wait

Misato stood on the bridge of the _Wunder_ , staring at the data readouts. "What do you mean, they stopped?" "They just stopped right now," Kitakami said, gesturing at the sonar station. All contacts had ceased movement outside of combat range.

"Since when has Ikari held his dogs back?" Hyuga muttered. "Are they waiting for reinforcements?" "No." Ritsuko stepped forwards, sneering at the screens. "Ikari likes holding things over people's heads. He's trying to exhaust us so that we're easier to finish off. I'm surprised it took him this long." "Shit", Misato spat. "Okay, change of plan. Have 50... no, 25% of personnel on standby for... six-hour shifts. The remaining 75% will be off standby, but should be ready to get to their stations ASAP when the shit hits the fan. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am," came the reply as the crew went to work. "Ma'am!" She looked down to see Maya on the deck, her face creased with worry. "Can I have a word with you? In private?"

When they had reached her cabin, Misato locked the door. "What did you want to talk about?" Maya shifted uncomfortably. "Asuka is... she's not in a good place, at all. Obviously. But I think it's gotten worse. She's having..." she trailed off, and Misato's heart sank. "What is it?!" she asked desperately.

Maya sighed. "She's... having sex with someone named Wren Bowen. I... I went to find her for a few tests with 02, and asked Mari where she was, and she said she was probably in his quarters, and that she met him just over a day ago. I went over and saw... through the porthole..."

Misato sat on her bed, silent. _"Is this my fault? Did I rub off on her somehow?"_ Her eyes were locked on the deck. "Thank you, Maya."

Wren leaned in closer and began softly kissing Asuka's left breast, making sure to place his lips on the large diagonal scar that defaced it. She lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling. "So that's what it feels like," she mumbled. Wren raised his eyes. "Hmm?" "Sex." He paused. "Did you... did you enjoy it?" he asked nervously. She looked down at him. "I guess, but mostly, I just felt... safe. As if I'm not going to die tomorrow. I felt... alive."

Wren smiled and moved up the bed. He gently caressed her cheek. "I felt the same," he whispered, and moved in for a kiss. Asuka grasped the back of his head and pulled him in. They stayed like that for a few minutes, until Mari burst in. They froze and stared up at her. She looked down at the deck. "Uh, sorry guys, but... the Captain wants to see you. Both of you."

"What the hell are you doing?!" Misato yelled as Asuka and Wren stood before her in her cabin. "The same thing you do," Asuka growled. "You and Kaji are the ones who taught me that I should fuck my problems away, remember?" Misato glared at her. "That's not... that was different. Me and Kaji knew each other, you only just **met** this guy!" "Yeah, and I don't exactly have the same time to get to know him that you and Kaji had, now do I?!" Misato sighed. "Asuka, I know that you're in a terrible place right now, but you can't start acting rashly. Think these things through, they're important for God's sake!" Asuka stepped towards Misato, her hands shaking. "I don't fucking have time to not be rash, you stupid bitch!" She glared at her for a few seconds, then turned and stormed out of the room.

Wren turned to follow her, only for the door to slide shut in his face. "As for you," Misato growled, "you can tell me exactly why you're sleeping with her. What is it? Did you see someone easy to exploit? Want to boast about it to your friends?" "N-no ma'am!" Wren sputtered. "She came to me and s-said that she wanted c-comfort... to feel alive... and I wanted to help her... and I also just wanted some comfort." Misato said nothing, and simply stared daggers at him. "Ma'am, I would never do anything to hurt her. You're right, I don't really know her, but I want to help her in whatever way I can." "Why?" Misato asked in a harsh monotone. Wren shrugged. "Because isn't that what people should do?" Her face softened. She thought for a few minutes. _"If I was in their situation, wouldn't I do the same thing?"_ "Alright," she sighed, unlocking the door. "But you'd better take care of her."

She watched him go. _"When did I become such a cynic?"_

Mari caught Asuka in the corridor. "Sorry," she grimaced. "I didn't think you were doing it when Ibuki asked where you where. You okay?" Asuka glared at her. "Of course I'm not. Misato did the same thing I just did, but the hypocritical bitch still acts as though... that stupid whore, she... fuck!" She stepped closer to Mari. "And let me guess, you think I'm a fucking slut, don't you?" Mari sighed. "No, Asuka, I don't. Hell, I've done the same thing plenty of times." She gave a faint smile at Asuka's shocked expression. "Hey, anything to keep us going. All we have otherwise is piloting the Eva and remembering the past."

Asuka's eye began to water. "What the fuck happened to us? I thought... I thought that piloting the Eva would make me special, make people respect me, but now... my body's been torn apart, I don't fucking age, and I'm so desperate for comfort - for any positivity, that I'll fuck someone I barely know!" The tears were running down her face

now, and Mari held out her arms and hugged her. "Hey, hey, it's okay. It's okay. And for what it's worth, I think Wren does genuinely care about you. And I think that everyone's desperate for comfort these days."

She waited for him in his cabin again. He was surprised to see her there, but happy. "So," she sighed, "What did that bitch say to you?" He smiled faintly. "She told me to take care of you." She was silent. "Did you hear what happened? With the Nerv forces?" "Yeah," she scowled. "Bastards. At least it gives us more time."

* * *

Gendo looked up into Lilith's hollow eyesockets. He'd come so close on that day, before Katsuragi's betrayal. _"Does she regret that now, with death hanging over her head?"_ he thought.

Footsteps echoed behind him, and he knew instantly that it was Fuyutsuki. The only other people in Nerv HQ were Rei, who never did anything without orders, and Seele's boy, who filled his time with useless distractions such as the piano. "The launch schedule is proceeding," the older man reported. "But..." "But what, Fuyutsuki?" The older man shifted uncomfortably. "Wouldn't it be better to simply retrieve him now and wait for EVA-13 to be ready? Why put him through this torment?"

Gendo narrowed his eyes in annoyance. "The boy won't do anything to initiate Fourth Impact unless he feels he has reason too. When he experiences Wille's treatment of him, after Third Impact and the clones, he'll be **desperate** to pull the spears out of Lilith's corpse. Nothing else will matter to him."


	11. Monophobia

Asuka lay on her bed, watching as Shinji slept in a sleeping bag on the ground next to her. "He'll be extremely confused," Misato had told her, "so I think it's best that he sleeps in your cabin. He needs someone he can trust. But..." she'd leaned closer to Asuka. "... be careful. We're pretty sure that this is the real one, but we can't forget last time."

Asuka's stomach churned as she remembered what the clone had done to the engine room crew, mere moments before she'd taken it in her arms. _"But this has to really be him,"_ she thought, closing her eyes. _"He's hasn't done anything, or said anything, which makes sense after what happen-"_

She gasped as Shinji sliced through her left breast with a knife, her blood pouring out of the wound onto her body and sheets. Instinctively, she reached for his throat, and the knife tore through her arm. She snatched it back, then tackled the boy, slamming him onto the ground. He headbutted her, and she fell forwards, dazed and confused.

He slid out from underneath her, and held her up by her throat. Her screams came out as grotesque squeaks as he carved a long, relatively shallow cut from her navel, around her back, and to her left thigh.

It obviously wasn't meant to kill her.

 _"You sick fuck,"_ she screamed internally. _"You're enjoying this!"_ He pulled her upright, and slammed her face into the wall, creating a dent. She took advantage of the momentum to tear free of him, and, even more dazed, staggered around and clumsily grabbed his throat. He only barely resisted, but Asuka kneed him in the groin to make sure, and the knife clattered to the deck.

Blood pouring out of her body, Asuka stared the clone in the eyes as she applied more pressure to it's throat, finding a savage satisfaction as she choked the life out of it's body.

"Asuka, wake up!"

Her eyes snapped open, and she saw Wren leaning over her. "Are you okay?!" he whispered. She turned away from him. "I'm fine," she mumbled. He sighed and planted a kiss on her shoulder. He knew better than to press the issue. "Wren?" she mumbled, still looking away from him. "Yeah?" She grunted. "Never mind. Forget it." What is it?" he asked, stroking her shoulder. "I said **forget** it," she growled.

Wren sighed and moved down, gently kissing the small of her back, then the curve of her spine, the smoothness of her skin only interrupted by the long scar she had gained on that hellish night. He was forced to stop when turned over, now facing him. "You sure enjoy doing that, don't you?" she whispered. "Is that a problem?" he grinned, kissing her belly. "No, it's... nice." He took her scarred breast in his mouth, and she stroked his hair. "They don't bother you? The scars?" she asked. He shook his head, and released her breast. "Not at all," he smiled, and placed his lips below her empty eye socket. She pushed him off, and pressed her lips against his.

Misato sighed as she watched the monitors. The Nerv forces were still stationary, waiting for the time to strike. She wouldn't show it to the crew, but she was terrified. _"I have to be a rock. I can't let anything stop me from being the leader they need."_ She turned to see Ritsuko approaching. "Still here?" she asked. Misato nodded. "I want to be able to respond the second Nerv moves." Ritsuko frowned. "You'd probably be better at that if you rested for a bit. I can take over here. I'll let you know as soon as something comes up."

Misato closed her eyes. Sleep was certainly an attractive prospect. "Fine, but I'm going to stay here for just a bit longer," she grumbled. Ritsuko smiled, and the two old friends stood in silence for a few moments. "I heard about Asuka," she sighed. "So, that poor girl's on the same boat us as now, huh?" Misato stared at her. "What do you mean, us?" Ritsuko looked down. "It... it disgusts me now, but back then, being with Gend - Ikari... was the only thing that kept me going." Misato grimaced. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I'm trying to warn Asuka away from it, but she won't listen. At least the guy seems nice enough." She sighed. "And at least Mari's not doing anything like that."

Ritsuko stared at Misato. "You... you don't know?" Misato's stomach sank. "Oh god... tell me. Now." Ritsuko shifted uncomfortably. "Well... I've found her... in the changing room we use for the tests... with people." Misato sighed. "People?" "Not at the same time," Ritsuko quickly explained. "Well, not that I know of... but every time I stumbled in on her, it was a different person..."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Misato mumbled. "I... I just assumed you knew..." Ritsuko said, looking down at the deck. Misato sighed and closed her eyes. _"Why the hell are they acting like me? It has to be my fault... oh God..."_

Mari gave a contented moan as she climaxed, and lay back on her towel, enjoying the sensation that came after sex. She looked up as her partner stood, hurriedly getting dressed. "Hey, where are you going?" she asked, disappointed. "I have to be back on duty in a few minutes, I'll see you around" the woman said as she went through the door.

Mari stared up at the ceiling, and sighed. _"I'm getting rid of stress by doing this, that's all that matters."_ She thought of Asuka. _"But wouldn't it be nice to do it, and not be abandoned as soon as they're done?"_

The room felt very empty.


	12. In An Instant

Asuka relaxed as Wren's arms wrapped around her, enjoying the sensation of his warm body against hers. "Asuka," he whispered, somewhat nervously. "Hmm?" "Well, I... I... I don't know if you feel this way, but... I think I... like you." "I... I think I feel the same way." _"Am I really saying that?_ " she thought, surprised at herself. She snickered. "Maybe we should actually go on a date or something stupid like that today. You know, talk about stuff other than how screwed up our lives are." Wren smiled, kissing her neck. "That sounds great."

Then the sirens shrieked out, and they knew what had happened. "Shit," Wren whispered, and they both leapt out of bed and started getting their gear on. Asuka was the first to be ready with her light plugsuit, and she rushed out as Wren pulled on his fireproof tunic. "If you die today, I'll fucking kill you!" she yelled, and he grinned and nodded in reply.

She rushed down the deck, pushing past anyone in her way. If she didn't get to 02, they wouldn't stand a chance.

Misato swore as she reached the bridge. "So, the bastards finally started moving, did they?!" "Yeah, they did, just now... they're closing in fast, too!" Kitakami yelled, her face streaked with terror. "Status of the Evas?!" Misato bellowed at Ritsuko, who respinded in her usual calm tone. "08 has been launched, and Asuka's getting to 02 as fast as she can." "It looks like the enemy forces are converging on the Evas!" Kitakami called out, and Misato swore again. "Okay, deploy 08 to the furthermost ships, and get 02 to follow her ASAP!"

Mari swore as the 04A screamed towards her, only to be torn apart by her assault rifle fire. "What's 02's status, dammit?" she yelled into the comms. "They're already here!" "02 is launching, hold on!" A swarm of 04Fs swam eagerly towards her, and she sprayed them with fire, being sure to fire some rounds into the water to catch any underneath it.

"Yeah, well, if she could hurry up, that would be great!" Mari crouched and shot down several more 04As, keeping her eyes on the three 04Gs that had surfaced. "I'm gonna need some serious backup!"

"Ma'am, we have... we have a launch from Nerv HQ!" Hyuga yelled out, and Misato's blood ran cold. "What?! Is it a missile?!" He shook his head. "No, it's going straight up! It'll completely leave the atmosphere in a few minutes!" Misato swore. "Okay, we'll figure out what it is later, just focus on the battle now!"

"Oh, fuck!" Asuka muttered as she spotted the 04Gs approaching, their explosive charges rocking the ships. "Four eyes, shoot off the closest one's tentacles!" Mari grimaced. "Yeah, sure," she muttered, remembering that she hadn't even tried that last time. The bullets ripped through the air and dismembered the mechanical beast, giving Asuka an opening to leap in and carve into it's core block armour with the prog knife. The 04G bellowed in agony as it's core block exploded, drenching EVA-02 in it's blood.

The pair repeated the attack on the remaining two 04Gs, but just as the last one fell, Misato's voice filled their ears. "Look out, 04Es coming in from behind!" Asuka turned to see the sleek forms of the 04Es streak in and land on a nearby frigate, their spider-like legs extending. Their mouths spewed fire, and the frigate was set alight.

Asuka and Mari moved in to deal with the abominations. "We have to go hand-to-hand, that ship's too close," Asuka muttered, frustrated. She looked down to see yellow-clad figures scrambling aboard. "Don't do anything stupid," she mumbled.

The 04E leapt at her, wrapping it's legs around 02's shoulders and spewing fire in her face. The fire wouldn't penetrate the AT field, but the rising temperatures would eventually boil the LCL - and Asuka. She grabbed the creature and pulled it off, punching it in it's core block 'face'.

"Asuka, Mari, get out of there! It's the Nemesis Series!" Asuka's heart stopped as she saw the pillars of light appear in front of her, their 'eyes' seemingly staring at her. Another 04E leapt at her, only to be skewered in it's core block by her progressive knife. The two Evas turned and ran, helpless against the pillars of light.

Asuka turned back, her eyes widening in terror.

The door finally opened, and Wren, David, and Bob rushed into the room, grabbing everyone they could. "Come on, move!" David yelled, and the shell-shocked sailors stumbled towards the exit. Wren looked down as his radio crackled. "Pillars of light are moving towards you, get out!" "Shit, shit, shit! Everybody out!" Wren screamed, and all he could see was everyone else bolting for an escape route off the doomed frigate.

A horrific screeching sound vibrated through the hull, and he saw his surroundings illuminated by a sickly red glow, but he couldn't turn back, he had to keep moving, but then he couldn't stop screaming as the light engulfed him.

 _"Was it all worth it?"_

And then there was nothing.

"No..." Asuka whispered as the frigate was vapourised by the pillars of light. She was silent for a few moments, then screamed like a fury and charged forwards. The pillars of light disappeared, but she didn't care why. A 04E flew towards her, only for her to grab it and rip it's body in half. It's core block was still intact, but she didn't care, in fact she hoped that it could feel the agony of it's injury. Several 04Fs leapt out of the water at her, and she grabbed two and smashed them together. The survivors wrapped around her legs and torso, and she furiously stabbed at them with her prog knife. "I'll kill all of you!" she screamed as their bodies fell apart. She looked around for more targets, but all she could see was the Wille fleet.

"02 and 08, stand by," Misato ordered. She rubbed her forehead. "They're retreating?" Kitakami shrugged. "It's all I can think of. They just all started moving away." Misato sighed. "This doesn't make any sense. The 04s are expendable, why not press the attack?" She sat down, her face in her hands, trying to think. Then, after a few minutes, it hit her. "What if they just wanted to keep us distracted... what if that bastard as some other plan? Hyuga, what did they launch up there?"

Hyuga worked for several minutes, the rest of the crew watching in silence. He froze. "Ma'am... long range scans show that the object... matches the profile of... EVA-01." Misato stared at him. "You... you're sure?" He nodded. "Okay then," she said, her voice becoming harder. "Get Asuka, Mari, Yaguchi, and Maya to the briefing room, right now. Ritsuko, you're coming too. We need that Eva down here **now**."


	13. Why Won't It End?

She stared down at the table, her body numb. The only sensation she could feel was her stomach tightening as she remembered the sight of the frigate's final moments.

"... EVA-01."

Asuka's head snapped up, and she stared at Misato. "What did you say?" she whispered. Misato looked down at her. "Asuka, I need you to focus, this is extremely important, understood?" They stared at each other for a few moments, then she continued. "As I was saying, it seems that the attack was just a distraction, meant to paralyse us until Nerv could launch EVA-01 into orbit."

Asuka's stomach grew tighter. _"01?! Intact?! Could Shinji be... no, that's impossible, don't be stupid."_

"Retrieval of 01 is priority one from now on. We need an Eva to get the Wunder airborne again, and, given it's history, it's possible that Nerv could be planning on using 01 to trigger Fourth Impact in space, where we can't reach them. To further complicate matters, they've deployed an automated defense system, consisting mainly of Mk.04As, alongside 01."

"So how the fuck are we meant to get it down, then?" Asuka said loudly, glaring at Misato. The Captain refused to meet her eyes. "Yaguchi, explain." The tired, greying man leaned forwards. "After the battle with the Eighth Angel, it was decided to push ahead with a previously abandoned concept of sending Evas into space using rocket frames. We found the designs and the frames, that had barely been started on, and worked to complete them." "I figured that if things got too bad down here, we should start working on... alternate strategies," Misato added. Asuka continued glaring.

"The frames aren't complete yet, but we're close. In fact, they could be ready in a matter of days if we increase the amount of engineers working on them, and completely cut any rest periods," Yaguchi explained in a fatigued voice. Misato nodded. "As soon as they're finished, 02 and 08 will launch with the frames. 08 will provide supporting fire, and 02 will slow 01's orbit and drag it back to Earth using thruster packs." She rubbed her forehead. "The timings will be determined when the frames get closer to completion.

"Now... the hard part." Asuka's blood froze. _"Don't fucking say it.."_ Ritsuko stepped forwards. "Due to the nature of LCL, and the circumstances surrounding 01, it's theoretically possible that the pilot is still alive, and may be recovered from the entry plug."

Asuka stared into space. _"Shinji... alive?"_ Misato's harsh voice interrupted her thoughts. "Now, all of you, **remember**. We've been tricked before. So, any specimen retrieved from 01 that resembles the Third Child will be designated BM-03. You are **not** to treat it like the Third Child. You are **not** to let it emotionally effect you. We can take no more risks. Am I clear?" The figures around the table, except Asuka, voiced their agreement.

"In the event that it is in fact the Third Child, we will have Lieutenant Suzuhara act as it's supervisor, and she will be the **only** one to treat it as the Third Child. This treatment, and the relationship between the Third Child and Suzuhara's brother, should be... relaxing enough, to prevent any psychological issues that could be harmful to us."

"In addition, I have decided that, to eliminate the risk of Fourth Impact being triggered by the Third Child, the DSS choker will be attached to his neck, and set to detonate."

Asuka was taken aback. _"Misato being this... cold? About Shinji? Why?"_ Then she remembered.

"We won't survive if you grow soft."

 _"That's right... I can't... I have to be strong. But... does that mean... pretending I have no emotions?"_

There was a moment of silence. "Alright, you all know what to do. Dismissed." As the others stood up and left, Asuka stayed seated. Mari stepped towards her. "Asuka, are you... do you want to talk?" Asuka sighed. "Fuck off." Mari grimaced and headed out the door.

Asuka held her face in her hands, her mind reeling. _"He's gone... like everyone but Misato and four eyes..."_ Her stomach grew even tighter as her mind filled with doubt. _"Why did I get so close with him? I ha_ _d sex with him, after knowing him for just over a day! Did I even really care about him, or did I just want someone to care about me?!"_

She looked up to see Misato staring down at her. "Asuka? What's wrong?" Asuka looked away from her. "Wren was... he was, uh... killed... in the attack." The older woman's face softened. "I'm... I'm sorry, Asuka." She knelt down. "But listen to me. You can't let yourself focus on a single person when everyone's at risk. You have to pull yourself together, and focus on the mission."

Asuka glared at her. "What are you saying? That I should forget him? That he doesn't matter?!" Misato stood up. "I never said that." "Yes, you did!" Asuka yelled. "If you thought he mattered, you wouldn't have told me to stop thinking about him!"

She burst out of her chair, pushed past Misato, and left, slamming the door.

Asuka stormed off, as Mari watched in silence. _"I'm_ _sorry,_ _Asuka,"_ she thought. _"If I'd known it would end this way, I wouldn't have had you and Wren put in the same recovery cabin. But you needed someone to comfort you, and I figured that someone with a burnt face would be able to look past your problems. I... I didn't know it would end this way, it's not my fucking fault!"_

She sighed. _"If you were into girls, I could have been the one to comfort you..."_

Asuka stepped into Wren's cabin. She stared at the bed for a few moments, then stepped forwards to collect her jacket and hat. Every second she spent in there caused more tears to grow in her eye. She rushed out. She wouldn't come back.

 _"Shinji... you started all this. Why? To save the commander's pet?! You killed us all because you loved someone?!"_

 _"Wouldn't I do the same?"_

 _"No! It's different! I wouldn't do something like that!"_

 _"Yet I'm still thinking of him and Wren. I won't let go. Why should I expect him to?"_

 _"Why can't I just forget?!"_

"EVA-02, prepare for liftoff in three, two one..."

"OPERATION: US is a go."


	14. Breaking Point

"Younger sister? But how?" Shinji stared up at Sakura, his face numb with confusion. _"You haven't aged at all, have you? Not even mentally. And the last thing you remember is starting this nightmare..."_

Asuka stared through the glass at Shinji. Half of her was desperate to hold him in her arms. The other half wanted him to suffer like she had.

Misato and Ritsuko were silent as they watched the situation.

"Because fourteen years have passed since then, idiot Shinji," she said, as calmly as she could. Shinji stared at her in shock. "A... Asuka!" He jumped to his feet and pressed his hands against the glass, grinning like an idiot.

His grinning face, his ignorance at all the pain he'd caused, was all it took to send Asuka over the edge. She marched towards him, fists ready. "Am I glad to see you! I knew you were okay, Asuka!" _"No thanks to you!"_ She slammed her fist into the glass, her hand throbbing in agony from the impact.

The glass had cracked.

"It's no use, I can't hold it in," she muttered. "I've kept it pent up all these years." She stood atop the wide metal base of the window, looking down on Shinji's shocked expression. _"Are you finally realising what you've done?"_ "What are you talking about?" he mumbled. "Pent up rage and sadness," she spat back.

"What's that supposed to mean?" _"It means I'm tired of missing your stupid face!"_ He looked up at her in horror. "Asuka, what happened to your eye?" _"You won't even apologise, will you? What, don't you think this is your fault?!"_ "What happened is none of your business," she growled.

"Asuka, you say it's been fourteen years, but aside from the eyepatch, you look the same," the boy mumbled, his face streaked with silent panic. "Yeah, that's the Eva's curse," she muttered in disgust. "Curse?"

 _"I'm done with you."_ She stepped down from the base and started to walk out. "Hey, wait a second!" he called out desperately. "Asuka, you would know, right? Tell me! Where's Ayanami?!"

 _"Still focused on her, after everything that's happened..."_

"No idea," she replied coldly. "No idea? But I saved her back then!" he screamed. _"Why is she the only one you're worried about?! Can't you see what's happened?!"_ "Such a fuss over one person," she muttered. _"Maybe the bitch is right."_ "One person means jack in this world right now." She shot a bitter glare at Misato's cold face. "Isn't that right, Captain Katsuragi?" The older woman's eyes shot across to meet her glare impassively, and Asuka stormed out. Shinji screamed her name, and she forced herself not to look back.

It didn't take long for Nerv to take him back.

"You said a single person didn't matter." Asuka glared at Misato as she stared into the sky, the detonator still in her hands, untriggered. "But still, when everyone's lives are at stake, you just couldn't **fucking** do it, could you?!"

The Wunder's captain turned around, tears flooding her face. "I... it's just... it's him. The **real** Shinji. I couldn't just... kill him, Asuka!" Shaking with rage, Asuka ran towards her and grabbed her throat in her hands. "You fucking hypocrite! You just killed us all! Why?! Because you don't want to feel guilty?!" She released Misato and turned around. "Fucking hell, you bitch, you're as bad as that brat!"

Misato coughed and glared at Asuka. "Could you have done it, Asuka?" Furious, Asuka turned back to look at the Captain. "If I get the chance, I'll kill him with my own bare hands! He's abandoned us twice now!" She marched out the doors, only to run into Mari. "Asuka, is Misato -" She gasped as Asuka crushed her neck.

"You stupid bitch," Asuka growled. "You let him get away." "It... was... Adam's... Vessel..." she croaked. "Wouldn't... stop... for... nothing..." Asuka released her. "Next time, don't make any mistakes. If we're lucky enough to have a next time."

Mari watched as Asuka left for her cabin. She sighed, then walked through the doors to see Misato, holding her face in her hands. "She won't be able to cope for much longer," Mari mumbled. "Things were getting better when Wren was around, but since he died, things have gotten even worse. Shinji coming back may have been the final straw." Misato looked up. "Do you think she'll still be able to pilot the Eva?" Mari looked down to the ruins of the deck. "Yeah. I think she'll pilot it even better now that she's like this." Misato numbly nodded. "Perhaps that's what we need right now."

Mari thought back to that conversation as she stood atop the Wunder's deck, the mangled bodies of 02 and 08 behind her. "We needed you to fight like that, Asuka. I'm sorry, but we **need** you like this." She turned around as Misato approached her. "So, Shinji's still a part of Seele's plan?" the tired woman sighed. "And we played right into their hands." Mari nodded. "It only stopped when I got him out of Unit 13. As long as he's alive, he's a danger." She looked up at the sky. "What do you think she'll do?"

Misato was silent.

The hatch blew off, high into the air, and Asuka looked down into the entry plug. Shinji was curled up on the bottom, completely silent. "Hey, brat Shinji, you didn't come help me," she said coldly. The boy curled up even more. _"Still not even an apology, after nearly killing us all again."_ "All you do is think about yourself. You think shutting up is the answer."

She dropped from the entry plug and walked away. _"No, I shouldn't leave him,"_ she thought bitterly. _"As long as he's still alive, Fifth Impact is a possibility. He needs to die. He doesn't look like he'll put up much resistance. I could strangle him. No, beating him would feel better. Or should I just snap his neck and be done with it?"_

"There was a... complication. 03 was infected by an Angel, as you know. Shinji was ordered to destroy the Angel, even if that meant killing you. But... he couldn't. He would sooner let the Angel kill him than he would hurt you."

She sighed and turned around. Jumping into the entry plug, she saw that Shinji hadn't moved. Frustrated, she kicked him. "You're still acting like a baby! No matter how many years pass, you're still the same old annoying brat!" _"But perhaps... you're all I have left."_

It took several minutes for her to drag him out of the plug, and he still wouldn't move. She gave him a survival pack. "Here, put this on," she said as calmly as she could. Still, no response. He wouldn't even stand up without support. "Geez! You can at least stand up, can't you?!" She grabbed his lip and pulled on it, hard, hoping to elicit some kind of response.

She heard footsteps, and turned to see an Ayanami approaching them. A flash of guilt ran through Asuka as she saw the Ayanami's wide-eyed innocence. "Hey, you're that pilot," she said, trying to hide her feelings. "One from the original Ayanami batch, huh?" she muttered.

The Ayanami stared at her, silent and confused.

Asuka sighed, and pulled a survival device from the pack. Turning it on, she jumped up onto the entry plug to get a better reading. "The L containment field density is too strong for them to rescue us here," she sighed. She looked down at Shinji and the Ayanami. "Let's find a spot where the Lilin can come for us," she ordered, and leaped down. Shinji was still unresponsive, and she snatched his hand in frustration. "Come on!"

The Ayanami followed them as they made their way across the blood-red sand. Their journey was silent. There was nothing they could say to one another.


End file.
